Irishman Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and a Welshman were all sitting in the pub having a beer, when the conversation ran dry.
The Englishman, trying to start it back up again, said, "Guys, I was born on the 23rd April, which is St George's Day, the Patron Saint of England, so my parents decided to call me George. What do you think of that?"
The Scotsman replied, "That's a coincidence! I was born on St Andrew's Day, our Patron Saint, so my parents called me Andrew!"
The Welshman said, "You aint going to believe this! I was born on St David's Day, so my parents called me David!"
The Englishman noticed that the Irishman was very quiet. So he turned to him and asked, "What's your story then, Pancake?"

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.
So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that", replied the Irishman.
Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a faggot and he didn't care."
The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off... watch and learn."
So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!"
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that", replied the Irishman.
Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right, he's unshakable!"
The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off... just watch this."
So the third Englishman walked over to more...

There are three men stranded on a deserted island (hmm sounds familiar).
One is Italian, one is Irish and the other Polish. They have been on the Island for close to six months and have developed a great rapport with one another and become the best of friends.
One day they are searching the shore for a sign of passing boats when they come across a bottle. When the Italian rubs the bottle a genie comes out (can you believe it!). The genie thanks the three men and says "I will grant you three wishes, but it can only be one wish each and I am so tired of being in the bottle for so long it might take a couple of weeks between wishes".
So the Italian says "I wish I was back in Rome eating a big plate of antipasto"
POOF!!! he is back in Rome like he wished. A couple of weeks later the Genie says ok, to the Irishman, "What is your wish"
The Irishman replies, I wish I was back in Dublin at Mac Murphy's pub with a pint of lager. POOF!!! He gets more...

An Irishman, Englishman andScotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands themover, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.The Englishman looksdisgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.The Scotsman picks out thefly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.The Irishman reaches in tothe glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit itout, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.

One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?".

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could more...

A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.
The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."
The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."
The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid."
"That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?"
"No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen". On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen". On his way up to the more...