Horses Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you ever notice that there are more horses' asses in the world than there are horses.

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.
In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.
In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.
In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.
In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.
In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.
In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.
French Lick Springs, more...

A Texas cowboy got a visit from his cousin who lives in the east.He thought he would show his city-slicker cousin a local Indian tribe so he could see how they were "one with the land".The cowboy and his cousin come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. The cowboy stops and says to his cousin, "You see that Indian?""Yeah," says the city-slicker."Look," says the cowboy, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction!"Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.""Incredible!" says the cousin to the cowboy."This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. AMAZING!!!"The Indian looks up and says..."Ran over me about a half hour ago."

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one-holding onto their "weewees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th."
"No, ma'am," he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the 4th but more...

Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas Barbeque, take in a bona fide rodeo and have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority sisters were curious as to how she fared.
"Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite, it's oh so good. The taste is unbelievable!"
And, I went to a real rodeo... Talk about athletes! Those guys wrestle full-grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop then jump off the horses and grab the bulls by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!"
They then asked, "Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?"
"Are you kidding? Once I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!"

Vince, a devout Baptist, loved to sneak away to the racetrack. One day, he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot - won the race. Vince was very anxious to see what the priest did in the next race.
Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the 5th race horses lined up, and place a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Vince made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Vince collected his winning and again anxiously waited to see which horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race.
The priest showed, blessed a horse, Vince bet on it, and it won! Vince was elated. As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always more...

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia. Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law. In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits. In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts. In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours. In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset. In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday. In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed. In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman. French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring more...