Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can clean her crack and resell it the next day.
There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light districtuntil he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: "TheHooker With Three Breasts...". The man get's just a littleinterested and thinks "well... that could be a once in a lifetimeexperience". So he goes in and walks up to the man behind thecounter. "I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts" hesays." Are you sure you can afford that... It'll cost you a thousanddollars" the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's hiswallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to alittle room in the back of the house and when he opens the room... there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it... three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life. The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking ofthe night before and the time he had, he goes in and pays the pimpanother thousand dollars. Again, he goes up more...
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman
Why do hunters make the best lovers?
Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.
How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.
What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
How can you tell a macho women?
She rolls more...
Two out of work bums decided that they would be better off in a more downtown location so they hitched a ride. The driver dropped them off in the city's red-light district.
A hooker approached one of the bums and said, "Hey guy, would you like a hand job?"
The bum shook his head and said, "Errr, no it's okay!"
A few minutes later another hooker approached the bums and said, "Hey guy, would you like a blow job?"
The bum again shook his head and said, "Errr, no it's okay!"
After the hooker left the bum turned to his buddy and said, "We'd better go back where we came from. We've only been here 10 minutes and we've been offered two jobs already!"
Q: What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together?
A: In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."
There was a hooker who lives in LA who had two female parrets, and only thing parrots seem to know how to say is "We are hookers and we are here to F***. And there is no way the poor hooker was going to get them to say anything else.
So she went to the church one day and told the father of her problem and the father said that he has two male parrots and all they seem to know and do is pray all day long, and that if she were to bring her two parrots over, he can put them together and have the female parents to learn to pray instead.
So hooker thinking that this is a good idea, took the parrots over to the church. As soon as the father puts them into the cage with the males the two parrots said "We are hookes and we are here to F***."
The two male parrots looked at each other with sudden suprise and one tells the other quinching his rosary beads to "Brother stop this, our prayers are finally answered!"