Homework Jokes / Recent Jokes

In English class, the teacher gave the class homework, using the words Chicken, Nut and Bread in a sentence. The next day, the teacher ask if anyone would like to read aloud their sentence. Pablo raised his hand and said "I will". He stood up proudly and read out loud his sentence. "My fader told me, not to put the plastic bag ober your sisters head, because Chicken canNut Bread". Another variation:
(Submitted via email by Roxychikxx) There were three students: one Japanese, Haole, and Filipino. The teacher asked the students to use the words, "chicken, nut, and bread" in a sentence. The Japanese girl went first. "Last night for dinner my mother cooked us chicken and yummy banana nut bread". "That's good", the teacher replied. Next went the haole boy, "I live on a farm and we raise chickens, and grow nuts to put them into our bread". After that, the teacher asked the Filipino boy to use the words in a sentence. The more...

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
His wife!

What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can’t keep a good man down!

Who designed Noah’s ark?
An ark-itect!

When did Caesar reign?
I didn’t know he reigned. Of course he did, didn’t they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing

· Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren`t the best teacher in the school · Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had · Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it · I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that?
I didn`t take algebra! · nb

A kindergarten teacher was giving her students a homework assignment. She said, "Students, I know you can do this. If you are going anywhere tonight, then watch how your parents drive in relation to the stoplight. This means, watch how they drive and what they say when the stoplight turns green, when it turns red, and when it turns yellow."
So the following day, all the little kids came back with smiles on their faces because they knew that they had done their homework.
The teacher asks, "So did everyone do their homework last night?" Every kid says in unison, "Yes!"
The teacher continues. "So can anyone tell me what you do when the light turns green?" She looks past the outstretched hand of Little Johnny to pick Little Billy. Billy said, "You say, 'yes, this stupid light finally turned green!', and then stay at the same speed."
"Very good, Billy," the teacher said. Little Johnny was mad; he wanted to answer a more...