Homework Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do young ghosts write their homework in?
Exorcise books.

Ravi: "Could I Get Into Trouble If I Didn't Do Something?"
Teacher: "Well, I Don't Suppose So."
Ravi: "In That Case, I Didn't Do My Homework."

This was when Santa was a little boy studying in a convent school. He was busy doing his homework and as his mother approached she heard: "One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two... Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four... Three and three...
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.
Santa remarked that his teacher had taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into little Santa's classroom and confronted the teacher. She told her about Santa's different way of doing math and his claims that she taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Santa had said what he did.
Then suddenly, she exclaimed, "Oh, I know... here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two..."

You Think that McDonald's/Burger King is "real food".

Know more than 5 uses for milk crates.

Can give a guided tour to anyone after 2 weeks!

Call home and think it's a wrong number.

Call your best friend's house and think it's the right number to your house!

Can sing your school's fight song after only one weekend!

Think that going to the mall is a special trip.

Start doing homework!

Have conversations about homework!

Know your roomie's life like it was your own.

Ask your girlfriend "out" to the campus restaurant.

Stay in the dorm for weekends.

Call your dorm room "home".

Have a list of carbon copies as long as I do for one piece of E-Mail!

Start thinking that the only people left on earth are the people who go to your college/university.

Can recommend web sites to your more...

Q. Why did the boy eat his homework? A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

One day a boy named Jonny was learnig out to add. When he got home from school, he started to do his homework. So he said out loud,"
2+2, o that sun of a bitch is
4. 3+3, o that sun of a bitch is
6."
As Johnny's mom was walking past his bedroom and heard what he was saying. So his mother called the school asking to speak to Johnny's teacher. She said,"
Are you teaching my son to say bad words while he is doing his homework?"
"
No."
"
Well my little Johnny is saying 2+2 o that sun of a bitch is
4."
Johnny's teacher says,"
No no no! I taught him to say 2+2 o that sum of which is 4!"

The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks for full credit, accept the late work and tell them that it will be awarded full credit. However, do inform them that you will not have time to grade it until after you complete your Ph. D. DISRUPTIVE STUDENTS 1. If students will not stop talking when the class period begins, announce that there will be a quiz the following day on today's lecture. Then leave. 2. If your students are prone to reading the school paper in class, try taking out a full page ad in the paper informing them that they are going to flunk your class. LECTURES 1. In the event that you are unprepared for a lecture, be sure to use the class time to stress to the class the importance of keeping up with the readings. In fact, spend most of the class time stressing this. 2. When the time comes to lecture on a subject you know more...