Hipster Jokes

I hate those hipsters who wear Che Guevarra t-shirts and don't even know who he really is.

I wanna get a shirt with an equally obscure political figure, William Howard Taft.

I'll go up to one of these guys and when he says "why's that guy on your shirt?" i'll say "you first."

"I'm Going To Be the First One On My Block To Become Anaerobic!"
Above: Escherichia coli bacteria at the Rancid concert.

This unwashed chicken thigh on the TGI Friday's cook's counter I live in is sooooo played out. No one cool is moving here or going through binary fission any more. And to top it off, the other day, all of a sudden, some eukaryotes moved in and drove the property value way up. You get a membrane-bound nucleus and suddenly everyone thinks you're made of pure carbon. I think they're part of a human finger or thumb but these days my nucleoid's so tired of giving a crap, I can't say for sure.

So now in order to afford my loft space down by the skin, I'm going to have to find a roommate. A roommate! What am I, RNA? That shit is for introns! And I know how lazy I am. I don't want to go out and actually find someone to live with. So I'm almost definitely just going to divide and make a copy of me.

But that's gonna suck cause I more...