Hilary Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What does Hilary Clinton do every morning after she washes and shaves her pussy?
A: Puts a tie on him and sends him to work.

Coffee maker
[My thanks to Hilary for the following]
Maurice and Becky are arguing over who should brew the coffee each morning.
Becky says, "As you get up first in the morning, Maurice, you should make it. Then we won`t have to wait too long for our coffee."
"But you’re in charge of all the cooking," replies Maurice, "that’s your job, so you should make it. And if I have to wait for my coffee in the morning, well, I don`t mind."
"But it says in the bible that the man should make the coffee," says Becky
"OK, responds Maurice, "if you can show me where it says that, I’ll never question you again."
Next day, Becky borrows a bible from her neighbour and shows Maurice that on the top of several pages it indeed says ‘Hebrews’.

Bill Clinton and his wife Hilary were at a baseball game when the man sitting behind Bill whispers something into Bills ear, Bill Clinton stands up and throws Hilary on the baseball field. The man that was sittingbehind Bill said, "No, NO, I said throw the first pitch!

Hilary is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can't believe this has happened.
She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming:
"How could you have let this happen? With all of the trouble going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!!! How could you???!!!
I just found out I am pregnant and it is your fault!!! How could you??? What have you got to say???"
There is nothing but silence on the phone. She screams again: "CAN YOU HEAR ME???
Bill's quiet voice comes on in a barely audible whisper..."Who is this???"

Hilary Clinton found out she was pregnant. She was so infuriated that she went straight to the nearest phone and called the Oval Office. When Bill answered, Hilary said, "You rotten jerk, you got me pregnant!" There was silence on the other end of the line, which infuriated Hilary even further. "You rotten jerk", she screamed. "You got me pregnant!!" Bill replied, "Uh... who is this?"