Hie Jokes

(May 1999, Thailand) A man known for his snake catching and charming skills was called to a neighbor's home. They needed an emergency exorcism of a python, which had invaded their dwelling. Hie, 55, rushed into the house in the northern provoke of Uttaradit, and emerged victorious with the snake held aloft in a burlap sack.

He was walking home with the snake, when villagers ran into him and asked to see the python. He pulled the snake from the sack and boldly wrapped it around his neck. The wild python, a five-foot-long coil of solid muscle, constricted around him and began to strangle him.

He screamed for help vainly, for the petrified villagers were afraid to approach the serpent. Within minutes, Hie fell to the ground dead. Local policemen forcibly unwrapped the snake from his neck and placed it in captivity.

Hie history teacher had a policy of letting people who had been a part of history lecture his class whenever possible.
When it came time to teach the history of the First World War, he asked a Swedish neighbor of his to talk about his experience flying for the British air force.
"Veil," he said to the class, "von day I remember veil vas vhen ve vas flying our Schpads over Chermany. .. and all of a zudden zeez two Fuckers fly at us from ze sun. At vonce, I did a loop, but ze Fuckers stayed on my tail. So I did anudder, and still ze Fuckers vus wit me."
"Excuse me," the teacher interrupted, "but I think I should point out to the class that the German planes to which our guest is referring are Fokkers, which were a sturdy make of German aircraft."
"Dat's true," said the guest, "but in dis case, de two Fuckers vas flying Messerschmidts."