Vas Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Der next night vas Christmas
    Der night it vas still
    Der stockings ver hung
    By der shimney to fill.
    Nothing vas sturring
    At all in der Haus
    For fear dot St. Nicklaus
    Vos nichts komm heraus.
    Der shuldren vas tucked
    Away in der betts
    And Mama in her nacht gown
    And I on ahead
    Vas searching around
    In her trunk for der toys
    Ve krept round quiet
    To not make der noise.
    Now Mama was carrying
    Der toys in her gown
    Showing her person
    Von up her vaist down.
    Wenn as ve komm near
    Der crib uff our boy
    Our youngest, our sweetest
    Our pride und our joy.
    His eyes opened vider
    As he peeked from his cot
    And seen everything
    Dot his Mutter has got.
    But he didn't take notice
    Der toys in her lap
    But chust asked
    "For who is dot lettle fur cap?"
    His mudder said "Hush!"
    And she laught mit delight
    "I tink I give more...

    A father, visiting America, from Europe for the very first time, goes up and down the isles with his son at the local Giant Food Store.

    "Vas diss? Powdered Orange Juice?"

    "Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh' orange juice.'". .. A few minutes later, in a different aisle. .. "Und vas dis? Powdered milk?? "

    "Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!". .. A few minutes later, in a different aisle. .. "Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!"

    Der night next vas Christmas
    Der Night it vas still;
    Der shtockings ver hung
    By der chimney to fill.
    Noddink vas shturring
    At all in der house
    For fear do Saint Nicholas
    Vas nix komm heraus.

    Der childrun ver dried
    Und gone to der bed
    Und mutter in nightgown
    Und I on ahead
    Vas searching around
    In der trunk for der toys
    Und ve crept around kviet
    Not to make any noise.

    Now mutter vas carrying
    All der toys in her gown
    Und showink her person
    From up her vaist down
    Venn as ve komm near
    Der crip uff our boy
    Our youngest und shveetest
    Our pride und our choy.

    His eyes ver vide open
    As he peeked from his cot
    Und seen efferytink dot
    His mutter has got.
    But he didn't even notice
    Der toys in her lap.
    He chust asked, "Vot is
    Dat liddle fur cap?"
    Und mutter said, "Hush"
    Und den laffed mit more...

    A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.

    "Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
    "Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
    The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
    The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
    "It was ME," chortled the Indian.
    So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
    Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.
    "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"
    "Fair enough," said more...

    Der next night vas Christmas
    Der night is vas schtill
    Der stockings vas hung
    By der chimney to fill.

    Der shildren vas snuggled
    All up in der bed
    And mama in nightgown
    And I up ahead...

    Vas searchink around
    In der dark for der toys
    Ve krept around kviet
    Not to make any noise.

    Und mudder vas carrying
    Der toys in her gown
    Showink her person
    From up her vaist down.

    Und ven she came near
    Der crib of our boy
    Our youngest und sveetest
    Our pride und our choy...

    His eyes vide open
    As he peeked from his cot...
    Und seen everythink
    Dot his mudder has got!

    He didn't even notice
    Der toys in her lap...
    He chust asked,
    "For whom ist dot little fur cap?"

    Und mudder said "hush"
    Und she laughed mit delight...
    I tink I give dat
    To your father tonight!

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