Heterosexual Jokes / Recent Jokes
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men
have no money.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men
with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat
heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are
heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are
cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and
have some money and thank God are heterosexual are
shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!!
The men who never make the first move,
automatically lose interest on us when we take the
initiative.
NOW... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
Men are like a fine wine. They all start more...
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Gay marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
8. more...
What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?
Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex? Maybe you just need a positive gay experience?
Heterosexuals have histories of failures in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned heterosexual out of fear of rejection?
If you never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you leave me alone, but why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others into that orientation?
If you should choose to nurture children, would you want them to be hetero-sexual, more...
The American Psychological Association is reviewing its policy on counseling gays and lesbians to help them become heterosexual.
Conservative religious leaders support the current policy, citing the success of the Ted Haggard case. "After only 3 weeks of counseling, Ted is now 100% heterosexual," said a spokesperson.
"That last 5% was the hardest to lose," admitted Haggard.
AT LAST SOMEONE SUMMED IT UP...
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.
The men which are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW... WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?