Height Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flag pole. They only have a measuring tape and are quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole: It falls down all the time.
A mathematician comes along and asks what they are doing. They explain it to him.
"Well, that's easy..."
He pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it easily.
After he has left, one of the engineers says: "That's so typical of these mathematicians! What we need is the height - and he gives us the length!"

1. What is height of Fashion?

- Dhoti with a zip.

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2. What is height of Secrecy?

- Offering blank visiting cards.

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3. What is height of Active laziness?

- Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

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4. What is height of Craziness?

- Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

- Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

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6. What is height of Stupidity?

-A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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7. What is height of Honesty?

- A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

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8. What is height of Suicide?

- A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the more...

A team of mathematicians were required to measure the height of a flag pole.
They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the
pole. It kept falling down, etc.
An engineer comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and
measure it easily.
When he leaves, one mathematician says to the other: "Just like an engineer! We need to know the
height, and he gives us the length!

Two Auburn Engineering students were tasked to measure the height of a flag pole as a class assignment. They decided to measure the flag pole outside of Legion Field at the south end of the stadium. While attempting this task one student would hold the tape while the other climbed the flag pole with the other end of the tape. Much to their disappointment the student climbing the pole kept sliding down and could not get to the top.
An astute Alabama graduate was observing from a distance and suggested that the Auburn students disconnect the flag pole and measure the pole while on the ground.
The Auburn students enraged by the suggestion yelled out " We want to know how tall it is not how long it is you idiot"

I just checked a height/weight chart and found out that I am 4 inches too short.

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead more...

There was a professor who was doing experiments with a frog. He was
teaching a frog to jump. The training went on for a while and finally
when he said, "Jump!" the frog would jump high in the air. He thought
it was time to take some measurements and publish the results.
He started his measurements with a twine, a ruler and a knife. He
placed the frog on a wooden cutting plate and said, "jump." It jumped
and he measured the height it jumped. He wrote in his observation
note book: "Height jumped (with 4 legs): 14 inches. Inference: None."
Then he cut one of the legs of the frog and said jump. It jumped to
a height of 10 inches. Inference: None. Then he cut the next leg, and
measured the height jumped. Because it had only 2 legs the height
jumped was only 5 inches. The he cut one more leg and the frog now
had only one leg. The height jumped was just 1 inch with one leg.
Again the inference was none. Then he more...