Headed Jokes / Recent Jokes

10 Office Rules:
10. Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.
9. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear.

The Black Bear said, “Don, you’ve got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex. ” Don decided to bend over.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him.

The Grizzly said, “That was a huge mistake Don. You’ve got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex. ” Again, Don thought it was better to comply.

Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap more...

Once there were 3 woman 1 had blonde hair the 2nd 1 had red hair an the3rd 1 had green hair a guy came up to the blonde headed girl an said"how do u get your hair so blonde?"the blonde headed girl said"natcherl"then the guy wen t up to the red headed girl an said"how do u get your hair so red?"she said"natcherl"then he went up to the green headed girl an said"how do u get your hair so green?"an the green headed girl showed him she wiped her hand up her nose an pulled out a boggie an wiped it in her hair an said"so natcherl"!!!

Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear. The Black Bear said,' Don, you've got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex.' Don decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him. The Grizzly said,' That was a huge mistake Don. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex.' Again, Don thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge. But then there was a tap on his shoulder. Don turned round to find a giant Polar more...

Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.
The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap more...

The brand-new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc. and on Dec. 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished. On Dec. 19 a terrible tempest--a driving rainstorm-- hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business more...

A man received an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs only one dollar. He jumped at the offer and headed off for the weekend.
He arrived, played a round of golf, and it cost him one dollar. That evening, he went for dinner and it cost him another dollar. Even his room was only one dollar a day. The following day, before checking out, he headed out to play one last round. On the way, he stopped by the pro shop and charged a sleeve of three balls to his room.
Standing at the check out desk, he looked at his bill and saw:
Golf: $2.00
Dinner: $1.00
Room: $1.00
Sleeve of Golf Balls: $3000.00
He was outraged!
He called the managed over and exclaimed, "What is this all about? Everything is supposed to cost one dollar and you charged me three thousand dollars for three golf balls!"
"I'm sorry, sir," replied the manager, "obviously you failed to read the fine print in our promotional brochure. That is what our more...