Headed Jokes / Recent Jokes

10. Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.
9. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
8. more...

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind it, when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute.
He knocked on the door, and the madam came to answer it, saw him and asked what he wanted.
He said he wanted what she was selling inside, had the money to buy it, and wasn't leaving until he got it. She thought she would have some fun with him, so she told him to come in.
Once he got in, she told him to pick one of the girls he liked; he asked her if any of the girls had any diseases, and of course the madam said no. But he said he'd heard that all the men were talking about having to go to the hospital and get shots after making love with Mabel, and THAT was the girl he wanted, and that he had the money to pay for it.
The madam told him to go upstairs and go to the first room on the right. So he headed down the hall dragging the frog behind him.
Ten minutes later he more...

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said: "You've got two choices.
I either maul you to death or we have rough sex."

Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly says: "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He more...

Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him.
The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply.
Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a more...

A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had growen tired of working so hardto build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it. So he thought itwould be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Well he sent for one andon the day she was arriving he hitched up his horse and buggy and headed for thenearest train station. After meeting his new bride, he loaded all her bags intothe wagon and then headed for thier honeymoon home. They had traveled only twomiles when the horse stumbled, and the rancher got out and whipped the horse toits feet. He looked at the horse and said "THATS ONE" and got back in the wagonsmiled at the woman and continued on thier way. They traveled only another twomiles when the horse stumbled again, and again the rancher got out of the wagonto whip the horse to its feet, telling the horse "THATS TWO". He took his seatbeside his new bride and continued on thier way. After traveling another twomiles the horse stumbled for the more...