Headache Jokes / Recent Jokes
The doctor said,' Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought,' That's what I need... A new suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman,' I'd like a new suit.' The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,' Let's see... size 44 more...
' I'd like you to be very quiet today, boys and girls. I've got a dreadful headache.'
' Excuse me,' said Alec,' why don't you do what mum does when she has a headache?'
' What's that? '
' She sends us out to play.'
The Headache.
Sadie goes to see her rabbi and complains about her bad headaches. She whines, cries, and talks about her poor living conditions for hours.
All of a sudden, Sadie shouts, overjoyed, "Rabbi, your holy presence has cured me! My headache is gone!"
To which the rabbi replies, "No Sadie, it is not gone. I have it now."
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches...
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your
spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to
relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice
but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a
headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an
important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he
felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new
life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need anew
suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a more...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it. But I'm not allowed up on the couch! Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking! Doc: Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it! Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Doc: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache. Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God! Doc: When did this start? Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the... Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST? Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? Doc: I never make rash promises! Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog! Doc: So what's wrong with that? I think I'm going to croak!
"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor."
"Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?"
"Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."
These are some of the application and leave letters written by
various people in Sri lanka...
01. A candidate's application "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a' typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post."
02. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. please sanction me one week leave"...
03. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I have to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
04. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school i am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
05. A family friend of our's told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the more...