Headache Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed.Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay one off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off.So, he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with. Mr. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."And Sarah says, "Can you just jack off? I have a headache!"

A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and..."
He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear".
"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"
"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".
Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, how do you more...

A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief.
After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and.."
He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear".
"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"
"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles.
This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head.
Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".
Two weeks go by and the man is back, "Well, how do you more...

St. Mom's Wort. .. Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen. .. Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.

Peptobimbo. .. Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

Dumerol. .. When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I. Q. causing enjoyment of country
western music.

Flipitor. . Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

Antiboyotics. .. When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

Menicillin. .. Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to more...

One of the side effects of Viagra is a headache. Every time I take a pill, my wife gets a headache.

Jim was fairly successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When it got to the point where his personal hygiene and love life began to suffer, he sought out medical help.
After being referred to one specialist after another, he finally came upon a doctor who was able to solve the problem. "The good news is, I can cure your headaches," the doctor said. "The bad news is, it will require castration. You are suffering from a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. Removal of the testicles is the only way to relieve the pressure."
Shocked and depressed, Jim wondered if he had anything to live for. Although he wasn't able to concentrate long enough to answer, he knew he had no choice but to have the surgery.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of more...

Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache." I've got a beaut cure for a headache," said his mate Trev. "Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails." A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is nice, too!"