Haff Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I highly doubt this is true, but it's a funny read. This is apparently a true story which occurred very recently in the Telecom Call Centre in Lower Hutt.

    The Operator received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried Pacific Islander who it seems needed some urgent marriage guidance. The call went like this:

    Telecom: How may we help you?

    Customer: I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!

    Telecom: Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?

    Customer: My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before. I need to trace these calls please.

    Telecom: Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.

    Customer: This one does.

    Telecom: What phone do you have, Sir?

    Customer: A mobile. I tell you more...

    Sven & Olaf were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Olaf for a light.
    'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter', he replied.
    Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
    Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic Lighter in his hands. Vere dit yew git dat monster??'
    Vell', replied Olaf,' I got it from my Genie'
    'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.
    'Ya, shure, it's right here in my tackle box, says Olaf.
    Could I see him?' asked Sven.
    Olaf opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie.
    Addressing the Genie, Sven says,' Hey dere, I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'
    'Yes, I will', says the Genie.
    So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.
    The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks.
    Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million more...

  • Recent Activity