Grudge Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a
    divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said,
    "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."
    The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer
    said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you
    don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I
    don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
    The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have
    a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I
    park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you
    have a suit?"
    The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear th to church on
    Sundays."
    The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your
    wife beat you up or anything?"
    The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about more...

    CS Rep: LOVE Technical Support.
    Customer: I'm not very technical, but I think I can do it if you talk me through. I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
    CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?
    Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
    CS Rep: It depends. What programs are running?
    Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
    CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs will prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
    Customer: I don't know more...

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for adivorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said,"Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmersaid, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, youdon't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, Idon't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you havea grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where Ipark my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do youhave a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it in church onSundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does yourwife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4: 30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. more...

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.
    The attorney asked, "May I help you??"
    The farmer said, "Yeah, I want to get one of them dayvorces."
    The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
    The farmer said, "Yeah, I got about 140 acres."
    The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
    The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
    The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
    The farmer said, "Yeah, I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
    The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
    The farmer said, "Yes, sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
    The exasperated attorney said, "Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
    The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about more...

    A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: "May I help you?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces". Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres." Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere." Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays." Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning." Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?!?!?!?" Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want more...

  • Recent Activity