Grown Jokes / Recent Jokes

A foursome was playing golf on a rather sunny day in spring. Fred was having some trouble with his swing but wasn't losing by too much. The group approached the 15th tee which was quite near a road and he watched as his partners teed off before him. Just before he was about to tee off a car came down the road and got a flat tire right near them. The woman in the car was quite striking so the other three men decided that they would help her out. Fred, on the other hand, wanted to tee off his shot first. His shot was beautiful. He was quite upset that his friends hadn't seen it. However, he quickly changed his mind as he saw the ball bounce twice on the green and roll into the cup. Just then a flash appeared at his feet and he looked down to see a small man. "I am the hole-in-one fairy and I will grant you a wish for your effort." Fred looked around to make sure no one saw him. If he was hallucinating he didn't want anyone to see him talking to no one. "Are you serious more...

GeekonicsBy John WoestendiekPhiladelphia InquirerWed., January 8, 1997NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of children who have grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board in San Jose, Calif., has officially designated computer English, or "Geekonics", as a second language.The historic vote on Geekonics - a combination of the word "geek" and the word "phonics" - came just weeks after the Oakland school board recognized black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct language."This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy" Macintosh, chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school board became the first in the nation to recognize Geekonics."No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close to smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to process the data we need to interface with all more...

During an International conference, three scientists, an American, a German, and an Indian, were
talking and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved
in the field of medicine.
The American said "In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms so we attached
artificial arms on him. And now that he's grown up and became an Olympic professional boxer and
a gold medalist! "
The German replied, "That's nothing to what we have achieved. Back in Berlin, there was a baby
girl born without legs so weattached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time
Olympics arathon gold medalist! "
The Indian interjected " Is that all you have achieved, just gold medalists? In Patna, Bihar
we had a baby boy born without a HEAD! We attached a COCONUT and called him Laloo and he has
grown up and now he is the Chief Minister of Bihar! "

The wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their three grown sons joined them for dinner. The old man was rather irritated when he discovered that none of the boys had bothered to bring a gift, and after the meal, he drew them aside.
"You're all grown men," he said, "and old enough to hear this. Your mother and I have never been legally married."
"What?" gasped one of the sons. "Do you mean to say we're all bastards?"
"Yes," snapped the old man, "and cheap ones, too!"

A wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their three grown sons joined them for dinner. The old man was rather irritated when he discovered that none of the boys had bothered to bring a gift, and after the meal, he drew them aside.

"You're all grown men," he said, "and old enough to hear this. Your mother and I have never been legally married."

"What?" gasped one of the sons. "Do you mean to say we're all bastards?"

"Yes," snapped the old man, "and cheap ones, too!"