Grow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up. Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!" "A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed. Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said' A Protestant'!"

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.
Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said' A Protestant'!"

A young man who left his home in Texas at an early age, finally purchased his own ranch in Oklahoma. He invited his father out for a
visit, and took him on a tour of the property.Driving along in the son's pickup truck, a jack rabbit hopped onto the road in front of them. The son stopped the truck to let the rabbit pass, and the father queried, "What in tarnation is that!?"The son incredulously replied, "That's a jackrabbit, Dad, what did you think it was?" The father shrugged and said, "We grow' em a lot bigger'n back home in Texas."So they went on and a little farther on they came to a few buffalo roaming the range. The son stopped the truck and the father again said in a puzzled tone "What are those?"The son hesitantly said, "Those are buffalo, Dad. You gotta be kiddin me. You really don't recognize them?" The father replied, "Well, I guess they're kinda familiar - it's just that we grow' em so much bigger back in more...

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went
to the bathroom though, he hit everything but the toilet.
So mom had to go in and clean up after him.
After two weeks, she has had enough, and took Lil' Johnny to the doctor.
After the examination, the Dr.. said, "Well, his unit is too small.
An old wives tale was to give him two slices of toast each morning,
and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight."
Next morning Johnny jumped out of bed and ran down to the kitchen.
On the table are 12 slices of toast. "MOM," Johnny yelled,
"the Doc said I only had to eat 2 slices!"
"I know," smiled his mom, "The other 10 are for your father."

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.
You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.
It's hard to be more...

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

After she was finished with Cinderella, the fairy godmother paid a visit on another poor young girl, Minuetta. Extremely flat-chested, the woman is convinced that her life would improve if only she had large breasts.
"All right," the fairy godmother said. "How about we fix it so that every time a man says 'pardon' to you, your breasts grow a bit."
Delighted with the arrangement, Minuetta goes to the market next day. Bumping into the woodcutter, she's delighted when he tips his hat, says, "I beg your pardon," and her breasts grow nearly an inch. Later, when a coachmean accidentally splashes mud on her, he stops and says, "Pardon me." Her breasts grow again.
Smiling radiantly when she reaches the market, she goes to the vegetable stand and asks the Arab merchant for some bread. While he's handing it to her, he accidentally knocks a tub of jam on her dress.
"Oh dear," he bows and scrapes, "a thousand pardons!"