Gramophone Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    P. Harris

    Problem Probable Cause Remedy
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Does not work Power plug in hand Place plug in socket
    and turn socket on


    Not turned on Turned off Turn on.

    Still does not work Bought it from Tandy Take it back and get
    a real stereo.


    Lights up but no No speakers Buy some speakers.
    sound


    Still no sound Volume set to zero Set volume to ten.


    Too much sound Volume set to ten Set volume to three.


    Raucous hiss Radio turned on and Turn radio off, place
    no aerial record on deck, place
    stylus on record.


    Sounds too slow HMV 78 written on record Discard record, replace
    with `Hells Bells' by
    ACDC set volume to ten,
    place stylus on record.


    Can't hear anything Gone deaf turn stereo off and
    or learn to say `eh?'


    Don't more...

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