Grad Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy and his mother were walking in a cemetery when they came
upon a headstone that read “Here lies an UConn graduate and an honest man.”
The little boy asked, “Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?”

Q : How do you come to own a small business?
A : Start a large business and put an UConn grad in charge of it.

The grad with a Science degree asks,' 'Why does it work?''
The grad with an Engineering degree asks,' 'How does it work?''
The grad with an Accounting degree asks,' 'How much will it cost?''
The grad with a Liberal Arts degree asks,' 'Do you want fries with that?''

Dinosaur #1: "How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Dinosaur #2: "What is an economist?" Dinosaur #1: "A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that's not important and don't ask what a Kangaroo is." Dinosaur #2: "I don't know, how many?" Dinosaur #1: "10 economists and one grad student. One economist to make a model, one to run the regression, one to test the hypothesis, one to interpret the results, one to conclude how to screw it on, one grad student to screw it on, and five economists trying to fight off the dinosaurs trying to eat them.

A college graduate was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the grad complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.

"Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.

"What do you think I've been doing," the grad said, "shoving them up my butt?"