Golfing Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Woman was out golfing

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the more...

    Extreme Golfing

    Hot 8 years ago

    Three men are golfing. There is Jesus, Moses and an old man.They've been pretty evenly matched until they arrive at the 11 hole to find a huge water trap. Moses tees up, and smacks that ball right out into the middle of the trap. Without a second thought he parts the water, hits the ball and gets it on the fairway, one stroke from the green. Then Jesus tees up. He smacks his ball right into the middle of the water trap. Without a second thought he walks out on the water, and hits that ball right onto the green. Finally the old man tees up. He hits the ball into the water trap. A fish swims up from the bottom of the trap with the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, picks up the fish and carries it over the hole, where the fish drops the ball and it plops into the hole. Jesus looks at the old man as Moses pencils another 1 in the old man's card. "Alright Dad, stop showing off"!

    Dentures (adult themes)

    Hot 3 years ago

    Two guys were out golfing and one said he was going to Doctor Brown and have a set of dentures made.
    His golfing buddy commented that he did that same thing two years ago.
    "How do you like your new teeth... did Doctor Brown do a good job for you?" asked his friend.
    "Well, I was out golfing the other day and a golfer hooked his drive off the tee on the adjacent hole. That ball must have been going six-hundred miles an hour when it hit me in the testicles... that's the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt me!"
    Lyle's Joke Boutique.

    Golfing Hitman

    Hot 7 years ago

    Golfing Hitman

    There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they are getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other and then look at the guy and say,' 'Sure.''

    So they tee off. About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman. The friends all laugh.

    The guy says,' 'No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like.''

    So one of the friends dicides to check it out. He opened the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. He gets all excited and says,' 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?'' The hit man replies,' 'Sure.''

    So the guy looks for a second and says,' 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. more...

    One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes." The man says "I can`t take anything from you, I`m just glad I didn`t hurt you too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I`ll give him the three things that I would want. I`ll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life." Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out more...

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