Goldfarb Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rabbi gets in front of his congregation and says that he is leaving to go to a larger congregation that can pay him more.

There is a hush—no one wants him to leave. Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the city, stands up and proclaims, "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a minivan to transport their children!" The congregation applauds.

Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the rabbi will stay, I'll personally double his salary, and also will establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" The congregation cheers again.

Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex!" There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sadie's 90-year-old more...

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath eve, announced to his congregation that he would not renew his contract. He explained that he must move on to a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush; no one wanted him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owned several new car dealerships, stood up and proclaimde, "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighed with appreciation and applauded.
Sam Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor, stood and said, "If the Rabbi stays here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!" More sighs and loud applause follow.
Sadie Goldfarb, age 80, stood and announced with a smile, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll give him sex!"
There is total silence. The Rabbi, blushing, asked her, "Mrs. Goldfarb, more...

Mr. Goldfarb was walking down the street. In each arm he carried a bag. He ran into Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein asked, "What are those bags for?" "I'm collecting for Israel", said Mr. Goldfarb." You need two bags?", asked Mr. Klein." I've got a system, said Mr. Goldfarb. It's fantastic. I go into the men's room. I pull out a knife and hold it up. Then I say,' Give for Israel or get a circumcision.' It works. I have forty thousand dollars in this bag." What do you have in the other bag?", inquired Mr. Klein." Oh, well, not everybody gives."

Mr. Goldfarb was walking down the street. In each arm he carried a bag. He ran into Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein asked, "What are those bags for?""I'm collecting for Israel", said Mr. Goldfarb."You need two bags?", asked Mr. Klein."I've got a system, said Mr. Goldfarb. It's fantastic. I go into the men's room. I pull out a knife and hold it up. Then I say, 'Give for Israel or get a circumcision.' It works. I have forty thousand dollars in this bag."What do you have in the other bag?", inquired Mr. Klein."Oh, well, not everybody gives."

There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who onSabbath eve announces to the congregation that he willnot renew his contract and is moving on to a largercongregation that will pay him more.There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands upand announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him witha new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!"The congregation sighs, and applauds.Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says,"If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish afoundation to guarantee the college education of hischildren!!"More sighs and applause.Old Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 96, stands and announces,"If the rabbi stays, I offer SEX!!"There is a hush. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"Mrs. Goldfarb answers, "I just asked Mr. Goldfarb what wecould contribute to make the rabbi stay. more...