Generally Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    ACURA
    Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
    Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
    AMC
    All Makes Combined
    A Major Cost
    A Mutated Car
    A Morons Car
    Another Major Catastrophe
    AUDI
    Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Automobile Under Demonic Influence
    Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
    Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
    Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
    BMW
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Break My Windshield
    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Barely Moving Wreck
    Big Money Waste
    Big Money. Why?
    Big Money Works
    Born Moderately Wealthy
    Breaks Most Wrenches
    Bring More Wrenches
    Brings Me Women
    Brings More Women
    Broken Money Waster
    Broke My Wallet
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Bumbling Mechanical more...

    A Purple Heart proves three things: you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
    10 second fuses only last 7 seconds.
    Anything you do can get you shot, even doing nothing.
    Claymores are labeled “This side toward enemy” for a reason.
    Don’t draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
    Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever, ever volunteer to do anything.

    Don’t look conspicuous: it draws fire.
    If it’s stupid but works, it really isn’t stupid.
    If the enemy is in range, so are you.
    If the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* our friend.
    If you can’t remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
    If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
    Incoming fire has the right of way.

    It is generally unadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
    Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you more...

    A Purple Heart proves three things: you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

    10 second fuses only last 7 seconds. Anything you do can get you shot, even doing nothing. Claymores are labeled "This side toward enemy" for a reason. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

    Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever, ever volunteer to do anything.

    Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. If it's stupid but works, it really isn't stupid. If the enemy is in range, so are you. If the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* our friend. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. Incoming fire has the right of way.

    It is generally unadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. more...

    It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

    Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?
    Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up. What's with all the belching and farting?
    This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps. Why do men hate shopping?
    It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? err... Buying? Why can't men ever leave the toilet seat down?
    Have you ever seen one of us pee? The proper position of the toilet seat is up. Mathematically speaking, the proper position of the toilet seat is a function of the time spent peeing over the time spent sitting. The closer that ratio approaches one, the truer the more...

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