Gathered Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lipstick Problem

    Hot 2 years ago

    A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
    Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.
    They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
    The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was to remove the waxy lipstick, and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated...
    He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to more...

    Lip Prints

    Hot 5 years ago

    A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom, they would press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
    Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick and told them to meet him at the ladies room at 3:00 PM.
    They gathered that afternoon at the appointed time and found the principal and school custodian waiting for them.
    The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness how hard it was to clean it.
    The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long-handled brush out of a box, dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, walked over to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick. It was the last time he had to do so!

    Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter’s night.
    He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town’s lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town’s business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.
    Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante’s Inferno.
    When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, “Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place. ”

    Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.

    He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.

    Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.

    When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

    There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W. Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview." Sir, I am writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?" The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it.... my, that was fun!"The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another." Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that was a lot of fun!"The reporter was more...

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