Gallon Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a' gator out back with a sore tooth... you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening more...
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there.
Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"
He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most more...
Makes one think, and puts things in perspective:
Diet Snapple....16 oz $1.29... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea..16 oz $1.19... $ 9.52 per gallon
Gatorade... 20 oz $1.59... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray... 16 oz $1.25... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid... 12 oz $3.15... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil... 6 oz $8.35... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol... 4 oz $3.85... $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout... 7 oz $1.39... $25.42 per gallon
Scope... 1.5 oz $0.99... $84.48 per gallon
and this is the REAL KICKER...
>Evian water 9 oz for $1.49... $21.19 per gallon.
$21.19 FOR WATER!....and the buyers don't even know the source. Yes, and the name Evian, is Naive turned around, and the Canadians are selling it by the millions of gallons to the US.
So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, or God forbid, PEPTO BISMOL or NYQUIL!!!
Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the more...
It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple.
One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job.
He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint.
It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint.
That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the other three sides had washed away.
The pastor looked more...
People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0. 30, $0. 40 per gallon tax off at the pump)! Obviously others need a little convincing. So the article in this week's "Autoweek" magazine brought it all to light. What if you were to buy a gallon of. . . - Diet Snapple 16 oz for $1. 29 = $10. 32 per gallon - Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1. 19 = $9. 52 per gallon - Gatorade 20 oz for $1. 59 = $10. 17 per gallon - Ocean Spray 16 oz for $1. 25 = $10. 00 per gallon - Quart of Milk 16 oz for $1. 59 = $6. 32 per gallon - Evian (water) 9 oz for $1. 49 = $21. 19 per gallon - STP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3. 15 = $33. 60 per gallon - Vicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8. 35 = $178. 13 per gallon - Pepto Bismol 4 oz for $3. 85 = $123. 20 per gallon - Whiteout 7 oz for $1. 39 = $254. 17 per gallon - Scope 1. 5 oz for $0. 99 = $84. 84 per gallon So next time you're at the pump, be glad your more...
Gas Prices vs?
People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0. 30, $0. 40 per gallon tax off at the pump)! Obviously others need a little convincing. So the article in this week's "Autoweek" magazine brought it all to light. What if you were to buy a gallon of. . .
- Diet Snapple 16 oz for $1. 29 = $10. 32 per gallon
- Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1. 19 = $9. 52 per gallon
- Gatorade 20 oz for $1. 59 = $10. 17 per gallon
- Ocean Spray 16 oz for $1. 25 = $10. 00 per gallon
- Quart of Milk 16 oz for $1. 59 = $6. 32 per gallon
- Evian (water) 9 oz for $1. 49 = $21. 19 per gallon
- STP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3. 15 = $33. 60 per gallon
- Vicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8. 35 = $178. 13 per gallon
- Pepto Bismol 4 oz for $3. 85 = $123. 20 per gallon
- more...
*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not more...