Friendship Jokes / Recent Jokes

40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old

Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN

Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back

Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot

Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister

Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity

Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack

Good looking............ Arrogant

Honest.................. Pathological Liar

Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear

Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent

Mature.................. Until you get to know him

Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself

Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall

Spiritual............... Once went to church with more...

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer's field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer's wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another. They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer's wife, "Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?" The farmer's wife replied "It needs to be a little bigger around." So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around. About an hour later, the Martian man asked more...

Friendship among Women:
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there

40-ish... 52 and looking for 25-year-old.
Athletic... sits on the couch and watches sport.
Average looking... unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back.
Educated... will always treat you like an idiot.
Free spirit... sleeps with your sister.
Friendship first... as long as friendship involves nudity.
Fun... good with a remote and a six-pack.
Good looking... arrogant.
Honest... pathological liar.
Huggable... overweight, more body hair than a bear.
Likes to cuddle... insecure, overly dependent.
Mature... until you get to know him.
Open-minded... wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested.
Physically fit... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself.
Poet... has written on a toilet wall.
Spiritual... once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday.
Stable... occasional stalker, but never arrested.
Thoughtful... says 'please' when demanding a beer

40-ish... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic... Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back
Educated... Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit... Banging your sister
Friendship first... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking... Arrogant
Very good looking... Dumb as a board
Honest... Pathological Liar
Huggable... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle... Insecure mama's boy
Mature... Older than your father
Open-minded....Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit... Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet... Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive... Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive... Gay
Spiritual... Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable... Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful... Says "Excuse me" when he farts

Friendship between women: A woman doesn`t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

Friendship between men: A man doesn`t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend`s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.