Folk Jokes / Recent Jokes

English Folk Customsby Morris Dancer

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
Save your breath... You'll need it to blow up your date.
Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
Folk clap when they see you... but they clap their hands over their eyes.
All day I thought of you.... I was at the zoo.
I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
You got a face only a mother could love... unfortunately she too hates it!
I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
Sure, I'd more...

A journalist was in a small Alabama town to write up a Christmas report. As he entered the town square, he was impressed to see a quaint Nativity scene with figures of Mary, Joseph, the Baby Jesus, and the three wise men. One thing puzzled him though... the wise men were all wearing firemen's hats.
He went back to the motel and asked the girl at the front desk if she knew why the wise men were wearing firemen's hats.
"City folk," she replied, "Ya think ya know ever'thang, don't ya? Y'all ain't nuthin' but city folk who don't read the Bible!"
"Pardon me, but I do read the Bible," he replied. "There's nothing in the Bible about firemen's hats!"
Muttering under her breath, she pulled out a Bible from under the desk and said, "Looky right here. It says, 'They came down from afar'!"

(This joke comes from folk musician Art Thieme, who told it at a
University of Chicago Folk festival)
A ranger was walking through the forest and encountered a hunter
with a rifle and a dead loon.
"What in the world do you think you're doing? Don't you know that
the loon is an endangered bird?"
Instead of answering, the hunter showed the ranger a trunk containing
12 more dead loons.
"What on earth are you going to do with 13 dead loons?" the
ranger asked.
"My family eats them."
"Well, what does a loon taste like?"
"Oh, somewhere between an American Bald Eagle and a Trumpeter Swan..."