Five Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after classstarted, he realized that he desperately needed to go tothe bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask ifhe could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, butasked him to be quick. Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted. The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be ableto find it now. The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes"and goes on his way. Five minutes later he returned to the class room and saysto the teacher "I can't find it". Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been atthe school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So two fellas go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?" Jon is quick with his more...
Five thousand bucks an hour?
Here would have been a better deal for the Governor.
You pay FIVE bucks, and you get screwed for TWO hours.
You go rent a movie starring Larry the Cable Guy.
Q: Why do witches think they're funny?
A: Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They wear masking tape.
Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand witch.
Q: Who has a broom and flies?
A: A jelly-covered janitor.
Q: What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A: Five after one.
Q: Why don't skeletons like parties?
A: They have no body to dance with.
Q: What did the bat say to the witch's hat?
A: You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
Q: What if you crossed a rabbit with a wolf?
A: You'd get a harewolf.
Q: What happens when a flying witch breaks the sound barrier?
A: You hear the broom boom.
The confession
Two five year-olds, one Jewish, the other Catholic, are playing in a sandpit. Sean says to David, "Our priest knows more about things than your rabbi!"
To which David replies, "Of course he does, you tell him everything."
Patient: Doctor, Doctor... I've got five penises! Doctor: Well, how do your pants fit? Patient: Like a glove!
Five surgeons discuss who are the best patients to operate on.
"I like to see accountants on my operating table," The first surgeon says, "When you open them up, everything inside is neatly numbered.""Yeah," The second surgeon agrees, "But you should try electricians- everything inside them is colour coded.""No, I think librarians are the best," Says another, "Everything inside is in alphabetical order.""Well," The fourth says, "I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.""I think you are all wrong!" The last surgeon says, "The easiest patients to operate on, by far, are politicians- they have no guts, no brain, no heart and no spine!"