Fellows Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two smart fellows were in a pub. They called the pubs owner over and asked him to settle an argument.
'Are there two pints in a quart or four?", asked one.
"There be two pints in a quart, confirmed the owner.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
"Two pints please, miss, and they are on the house."
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous so one of the fellows called out to the owner at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"
"That's right," he called back, "Two pints."

Who's On First(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows? BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --LOU: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team. BUD: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --LOU: You know the fellows' names? BUD: Yes. LOU: Well, then who's playin' first. BUD: YesLOU: I mean the fellow's name on first base. BUD: Who. LOU: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis. BUD: Who. LOU: The guy on first base. BUD: Who is on first. LOU: Well, what are you askin' me for? BUD: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling more...

Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop...suddenly the Town's Fire Alarm went off. .. one jumped up and headed for the door. .. his friend shouted, "Hey, Tom, I didn't know you were a fireman!" Tom replied, "I'm not, but my girlfriend's husband is..."

Bud invited his pal Lou - who came from Dallas - to go watch his home team playing a
great match. Being a avid baseball lover, Lou wanted to know the names of the players
of the home team. Unfortunately, Bud only knew their nick names only. So here goes the
conversation took place between the two friends.
Lou: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the
team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those
fellows?
Bud: All right. but you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays
very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we
have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --
Lou: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the
St. Louis team.
Bud: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --
Lou: You more...

Who's On First

(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)

LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows?

BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --

LOU: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.

BUD: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third --

LOU: You know the fellows' names?

BUD: Yes.

LOU: Well, then who's playin' first.

BUD: Yes

LOU: I mean the fellow's name on first base.

BUD: Who.

LOU: The fellow playin' first base for St. more...

Who's On First(Sketch by Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' name on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows? BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seems, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third -LOU: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.BUD: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third -LOU: You know the fellows' names? BUD: Yes.LOU: Well, then who's playin' first.BUD: YesLOU: I mean the fellow's name on first base.BUD: Who.LOU: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis.BUD: Who.LOU: The guy on first base.BUD: Who is on first.LOU: Well, what are you askin' me for? BUD: I'm not asking you - I'm telling you. WHO IS more...

2 drunken fellows were passing by a graveyard late one night, when they heard a noise and went in to investigate. Earlier, another drunken fellow had accidentally fallen into an open grave. He kept saying, "I'm froze, I'm froze." One of the fellows looked down at him and said, "No wonder, you got all the dirt kicked off ya. Bye."