Europe Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde was feeling so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into Lake Erie. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her teetering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Listen, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you, and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added with a wink, "And I'll make you happy, and you can make ME happy." The girl nodded yes through her tears. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat, along with blankets and food. From then on, every night he brought her sandwiches, water, wine and fruit and they would make mad, passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the more...
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
Q: What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?
A: Zero.
Q: Why?
A: Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
Britain decided it was time to switch left lane traffic to right lane traffic, as everywhere in Europe.
So they gather to plan the whole thing and nobody seems to come up with any viable solution, so they send out some help-me type faxes.
A couple of days later, answers come back. The French fax read: "As your neighbours, we are deeply touched you requested our help, etc. etc, but we have no idea at all how to do it".
The German fax read: "We are Germany, the most organized country in Europe, but we have not had this problem before and we do not know how to handle it".
The Polish fax read: "As you know, we are Poland, a country that has done a lot on the path towards democracy and economic resuscitation. We have a great deal of experience in such transition processes. But, as to overcome the inherent difficulties and to avoid social problems, any and all transitions must be done gradually.
So, it is our proposal to handle the situation more...
Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great
place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of
great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be more...
Once upon a time, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting, on the seventh day. He inquired of God,
"Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, " Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor - over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people." God continued pointing to different countries..."This one will be extremely hot, while this one more...
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God,
"and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things,"
God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while more...