Empty-handed Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Santa and Banta had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
    Finally Santa invited Banta to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and two kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
    Banta, "Great. Where do you live?"
    Santa, "Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in." "Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?", asks Banta.
    "Surely, you're not coming empty-handed!"

    The line in front of the Butcher shop in Warsaw is long,
    indeed, and the people grow weary, ever more weary, of the wait.
    Eventually an official comes out and announces "We are very low
    on meat; all Jews must leave the line." So the Jews in the line
    quit the queue and head for home, empty-handed.
    After some more of a wait the same official reappears
    and announces, "We are even lower on meat that we thought. All
    non-party members must leave the line." So all the non-card-carrying
    members standing in line begin heading for home, equally empty-handed.
    After some more time the official appears to declare "All
    Serbs and Croats must leave the line; we haven't enough meat for
    you." Disappointed, they leave the line and wander off.
    Well, you guessed it: a bit later the same official appears
    and informs the remaining people "Unfortunately we have run out of
    meat entirely - you may as well all go more...

    The line in front of the Butcher shop in Warsaw is long, indeed, and the people
    grow weary, ever more weary, of the wait. Eventually an official comes out and
    announces "We are very low on meat; all Jews must leave the line." So the Jews
    in the line quit the queue and head for home, empty-handed.
    After some more of a wait the same official reappears and announces, "We are
    even lower on meat that we thought. All non-party members must leave the
    line." So all the non-card-carrying members standing in line begin heading for
    home, equally empty-handed.
    After some more time the official appears to declare "All Serbs and Croats must
    leave the line; we haven't enough meat for you." Disappointed, they leave the
    line and wander off.
    Well, you guessed it: a bit later the same official appears and informs the
    remaining people "Unfortunately we have run out of meat entirely - you may as
    well all go more...

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