"Empty-handed" joke

Santa and Banta had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.
Finally Santa invited Banta to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and two kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
Banta, "Great. Where do you live?"
Santa, "Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in." "Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?", asks Banta.
"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed!"

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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There were these three American Indians sitting around this campfire one night, discussing where their parents got their names from.
The first Indian said, "My parents decided to call me Jumping Deer because when they were conceiving me, a deer went jumping over more...

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Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.
The exam was "fill in the blank" and the last question read, "Old MacDonald had more...

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My wife has just found out I've been fucking a Hermaphrodite.
She screamed at me, "What's she got that I haven't got?"
"Well....."

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A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she more...

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