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Some Words of Wisdom...
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
Few women admit their age and few men act theirs.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
LOVE: Two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Forget about world peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
WARNING: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth. How more...

Some Words of Wisdom...The gene pool could use a little chlorine.Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat? Few women admit their age and few men act theirs.I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.LOVE: Two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.Forget about world peace...Visualize using your turn signal.WARNING: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.Give me ambiguity or give me something else.We have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart? Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better more...

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle.""OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?""I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk."A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!""In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two."No thank you," the gentleman replied. "That will be all."As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife? " he asked."Yeah! Thats a good idea," the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard."

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle, replies the inventor."
"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"
"A fottle," replies the inventor.
"A fottle? That's stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Those with the best advice offer no advice.

To achieve the impossible, one must think the absurd; to look where everyone else has looked, but to see what no one else has seen.

To attract maximum attention, it`s hard to beat a good, big, dumb mistake.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

To err is human. To admit it is a blunder.

To err is human. To blame it on someone else is even more human.

To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.

To err is human. To forgive is simply not company policy.