Dog Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What would you get if you crossed a prehistoric creature with a witch?
A: A dino-sorceress!
Q: What did the little ghost eat for lunch?
A: A booloney sandwich!
Q: What do little monsters like to drink?
A: Ghoul-Aid!
Q: What do you call eyeglasses for a ghost?
A: Spooktacles!
Q: Where would you find the graves of famous English ghouls?
A: Westmonster Abbey!
Q: How did the bootician style the ghost's hair?
A: With a scare dryer!
Q: What did the dog say to the skeleton?
A: "I'd like to get to gnaw you."
Q: Why didn't the little monster go trick-or-treating?
A: He didn't have a costume.
Girl Monster 1: "I hear you've met the perfect guy."
Girl Monster 2: "Oh yes, he's a bad dream come true!"
Witch 1: "How do you manage to stay in shape?"
Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."
Q: Is it good to drink witch's brew?
A: Yes, it's very more...

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world. LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY. GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb. OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON - FREE COFFEE + DONUTS FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART DOG FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG. GERMAN SHEPHARD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD - SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME.

A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an Internet cafe and the dalmation said to the hound, "Hey, check out my web site!" The hound asked for the address and the dalmation responded, "www.dalmation.dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot.

A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something." The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm afraid your dog is dead". The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else." So, the vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a Labrador retriever. The dog jumps up on the table and sniffs the other dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. The vet says, "I'm very sorry lady, your dog is dead. "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else... PLEASE" the lady cries. So the vet goes into another room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just more...

A buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "make me one with everything".

What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh.
What did one Bengali voyeur ask another?
Keyhollo.
What do you call a bong who talks a lot, sometimes without making sense?
Mr. Chatterjee.
An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong
A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee
An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee
An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu
A Bengali who works?
A work of fiction
A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu
A Bengali marriage?
Bedding
A mad Bengali?
In Sen
A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha
A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli
A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass
A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla
What's bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal
What's common between Bengalis and sperms?
Only 1 in a million works
When does a Bengali sound like a dog?
When he says more...

John is waiting to cross the street when a blind man approaches with his guide-dog. The sign lights to cross and in stead of helping his boss to cross the dog raises his rear leg and pees on the pants of the man. The man reaches in his pocket and gives the dog a cookie. John is amazed and tells the man: "If it were my dog I would have kicked his ass!". The man calmly answers: "I'm going to. But I need to find the head first".