Dna Jokes

Federal Bureau of Investigation
Crime Lab 2A-3356N, Wash DC
DNA Test Results: Clinton, William Jefferson
Dear Mr. Starr:
The test on the dress came back inconclusive.
Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA.
Sorry,
The FBI

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.

Client: Well, give me the bad news first.

Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene

Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?

Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!

How do you eat a DNA spaghetti? With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...)

God's Human DNA CodeFor many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that verylittle of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function. I have solved the mystery. The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that therest of it is comments. Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin asfollows: ===/* HUMAN_DNA. H * * Human Genome * Version 2. 1 * * (C) God */ /* Revision history: * * 0000-00-01 00: 00 1. 0 Adam. * 0000-00-02 10: 00 1. 1 Eve. * 0000-00-03 02: 11 1. 2 Added penis code to male version. A bit messy -- * will require a rewrite later on to make it neater. * 0017-03-12 03: 14 1. 3 Added extra sex drive to male. h; took code from * elephant-dna. c * 0145-10-03 16: 33 1. 4 Removed tail. * 1115-00-31 17: 20 1. 5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case. * 2091-08-20 13: 56 1. 6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine. * 2501-04-09 14: 04 1. 7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made * darker to more...

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results. Clinton was a perfect match. So was all of Arkansas.