Disease Jokes / Recent Jokes

I believe I have "furniture disease". My chest has fallen into my drawers.

Q: What's the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease?
A: The number of tits!

Q: What disease can you get from kissing birds?

A: Chirpes (It's a canareal disease, but it's tweetable)

Mother: Cover Yourself Properly Or You'll Get The Disease Called Elephathasis Disease.
Son: What Type Of Disease Is That?
Mother: This Is A Type Of Disease When Mosquito Bites Our Legs They Become Like Elephant's Legs.
Son(In The Morning, Crying)
Mother: Why Are You Crying?
Son: Mom, Yesterday Night One Mosquito Bit Me On My Nose. Now, It Will Become A Trunk!!!

One day two cows were chatting over the fence between their two fields. The first cow said, "I'm telling you, this mad cow disease is getting pretty scary! I've heard it's spreading so fast that it's already on Farmer Rubin's land just down the road!"
The second cow replied, "So what? It doesn't affect us chickens!"

Q: What's the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease?
A: The number of tits!

Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it.