Diplomacy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock.

Diplomacy: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

Diplomacy:
a peaceful substitute for shooting.
cutting the other fellow's throat without using a knife.
lying in state.
the art of saying "Nice doggie!" until you can find a rock.

One summer, an old professor got a job on the railway as a steward. On his first day, he was accompanied by another steward to learn the ropes. "The job is really quite simple," said his tutor, "just remember to use diplomacy."
"What to you mean by diplomacy?" asked the professor, since that was something he'd never needed while teaching.
The steward-in-charge replied, "Watch me and I'll show you."
They proceeded down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with their keys and offering tea or coffee. When the steward-in-charge flung open one door, before him stood a buck-naked woman. Without batting an eyelid, he calmly asked, "Tea or coffee, sir?"
The startled woman took a cup of coffee and he closed the door.
"Wow, did you see that cutie?" said the old professor excitedly. "She didn't have a stitch of clothing on! But, why did you call her 'sir'?"
"That's more...

Diplomacy: the art of letting someone have your way.

Diplomacy is letting someone else have your way.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!"--until you can find a rock.