Despite Jokes / Recent Jokes
Despite what you may think, nobody wins in a butter eating contest.
Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?
So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.
What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:
THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.
How And When to Get Your Human's more...
Despite such perks, that dog's favorite time of year was Christmas. It was a brief period when at long last the house had indoor plumbing.
Despite making what most observers agreed were "obvious technical errors," such as surrendering, the Taliban were awarded victory in the Afghanistan war last night after the French judge said they won on presentation. SatireWire.
1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?
So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence. What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:
THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves.
True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.
2. How more...
A preacher was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden there was a cloud burst. After about one full hour of complete non-stop rain, everyone began to evacuate because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there preaching in the ankle-deep water.
A man drives by in a car and shouts through the church doors, "Preacher, you better get out of there before you drown!"
The preacher replied, "Don't worry. God will save me."
The man then drove away.
The water was now knee-deep and a man in a raft floated over to the church and said to the preacher, "You better get in here before you drown!"
Despite the second warning the preacher just stood there and replied, "Don't worry. God will save me."
The man then rowed away.
The water was now waist-deep and a man in a power boat came to the preacher and said, "You better get out of there before you more...
Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesmanwas unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. "I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision,"he announced, standing up to leave. .. "Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in themorning, let me know what you think."