Despite Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOG WHEN...................

    1. You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

    2. You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you can't fit 2 falafel chicken sandwiches, 4 oranges, 3 bananas, a jar of olives, a loaf of bread and a kebab into a regular paper lunch bag.

    3. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300, 000 in the bank, but still drives a' 76 Monaro/Kingswood.

    4. Your mother owns 3 houses, has $400, 000 in the bank but still believes she's entitled to the pension.

    5. You share one bathroom with your 5 brothers and 7 sisters, have no money, but drive a $75, 000 Club Sport.

    6. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all related somehow.

    7. You consider dunking a pack of Teddy Bear bikkies in coffee a nutritious breakfast.

    8. There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall more...

    Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

    One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!! After about 1 full hour of complete non-stop rain, they started making evacuations because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there in the ankle-deep water.
    A guy in a car came up to him and said. "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
    But the preacher just replied "Don't worry God will save me."
    The man then said "Whatever!" and drove away.
    The water was now knee-deep and a guy in a raft came over to the Preacher and said "Preacher, Preacher you better get in here before you drown!"
    Despite the second warning the Preacher just stood there and replied "Don't worry God will save me."
    The man then said "Whatever!!" and rowed away in the orange raft.
    The water was now waist-deep and a guy in a power boat came to the Preacher more...

    Despite the saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives!

    1991 - A Montana State University chemistry professor claimed in March that he was wrongfully accused of being drunk after an accident (which occurred while he was on work-release for a previous (drunk driving sentence). While a state trooper found him "highly intoxicated," the professor said a chemical explosion in his lab caused him to smell and act drunk and that his statement to the trooper about having consumed a six-pack of beer was merely incoherent babbling" because of the trauma of the accident.
    1992 - Steven L. Johnson, 40, sentenced to two years in prison in Brookings, S.D., in April for drunk driving, explained to the judge: "I enjoyed drinking while driving. It's one of the most pleasurable habits I've had."
    1993 - Only days apart, two Wisconsin men arrived in court drunk for their trials on drunken-driving charges. Both denied they had been drunk while driving, and both denied they were drunk in the courtroom. James Heard had a 0.26 more...

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