Deer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out! Who gives my cat his Christmas presents? Santa Paws! Who gives my other cat his Christmas presents? Santa Claws! What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while i go ahead! Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! What did mary say to santa during the storm? Look at that rain, dear! Where do plumbers buy there presents? Bath! Why is it best to park your car near the moon? Because there is a lot of space! What is the use of reindeer? It makes the garden grow sweetie! How many legs does rudolph have? Four? No, six. - he's got forelegs and two back legs! What game do six reindeer play in the back of a mini? Squash! Why did the reindeer take his nose apart? To see what made it run! What do you call a reindeer that has a number on its tail? Reg! Did you hear the story of the 3 reindeer? No. Oh deer, Oh deer, Oh deerWhy do reindeers have wrinkled ankles? Because they lace there boot too tight! more...

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?"
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

You might be a redneck if...
You've ever hitchhiked naked,
You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
The receptionist checks the rat traps at your more...

A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared,' Who is the king of the jungle?'and the deer replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared,' Who is the king of the jungle?' and the zebra replied,' Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant.' Who is the king of the jungle?' he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,' Okay, okay, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer.'

Q: What's the difference between a road-killed deer and a road-killed lawyer?
A: There's skid marks in front of the deer!

Q: What's the difference between a road-killed deer and a road-killed lawyer? A: There's skid marks in front of the deer!

While touring an Red Indian reservation filming a documentary, Barbara Walters was puzzled about the difference in the number of feathers in the head-dresses.
So, she asked a brave who only had one feather in his head-dress and his reply was: "Only have one woman. One woman, one feather."
Feeling the first fellow was only joking she asked another brave. This brave had two feathers in his head-dress. And he replied: "Me have two women. Two women, two feathers." Still not convinced the feathers indicated number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief.
Now the Chief had a head-dress full of feathers which, needless to say amused Ms. Walters who asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your head-dress?" The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said: "Me Chief, me screw' em all. Big, small, fat and tall, me screw' em all."
Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung."
The more...