Das Jokes

The abolition of Euro trade barriers in 1996 meant that many cars will now be of German origin. To this end the following list of German motoring phrases:

1) Die BlinkenLeiten Tickentocken = Signal Indicators

2) Pullknob und KnuckleChoppen = Auto Hood (Bonnet)

3) Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben = Exhaust

4) Das Kulink mit Schlippenundshaken = Clutch

5) Der Phlatt mit Bloody fukken = Puncture

6) Der Twatten mit Elplatz = Learner driver

7) Das Bagsaroomfurshagginkin = Estate car

8) Der Flippenflappenschitspreader = Windshield wipers

9) Der Klunkenklinkenfrauleinstrappen = Seat belt

10) Das Buch fur Aresewipen = Highway Code

11) Die Dippenuntdazzel Eiblinden = Headlights

12) Der Pedalpuschinpilloken = Cyclist

13) Der Fukkengratentrucken = Truck

14) Der Bananwaltzen = Skid

15) Dast Fukkennearenschitzenselfen = Near accident

Once a canditate went for an interview. Manager: What is your name?
Canditate: Sir, N. D.
Manager: What?
Canditate: I mean Nishant Das
Manager: What is your father's name? Canditate: Sir, N. D.
Manager: Again?!!
Canditate: Neelesh Das.
Manager: What is your fathers occupation?
Canditate: N. D.
Manager: Now what is it?
Canditate: Sir, he is a News Director.
manager: Where is your native place?
candidate: Sir, N. D.
Manager: What is N. D? Are you in your senses???
Canditate: Sorry sir, I am from New Delhi.
Manager: Did you work anywhere before? If yes, where.
Canditate: Yes sir, I worked at N. D.
Manager: Oh God!!!!
Canditate: Sir, I mean to say that I worked in Naval Department.
Manager: ( keeps silence)
A few seconds later
Canditate: Sir, what do you think about me?
Manager: N. D.
Canditate: Oh really!!! What is it??
Manager: NIL DUFFER!

An old' hands off' sign, useful for anyone with delicate apparatus. ..
Achtung! Dummkopfen!
Das machine ist NICHT fur gerfingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy snappen der springenwerk und poppencorken mit spitzensparken! Keepen Sie die hands in die pockets und watchen Sie das blinkenlights!