Daddy Jokes / Recent Jokes

one day a boy said mommy how old are you and the mom said thats one thing you never ask a woman, and then the boy said mommy how much do you weight? and the mom said thats one thing you never ask a woman, and then he said mommy why did you and daddy get divorced? and she said once agian thats something you never ask a woman...so the boy left to look at her drivers liscenes and came back and said mommmy i know how old you are really? replied the mom, he said yea 25 years old and then he said mommy i know how much you weigh too...and the mom replied really? and the boy said yes 130 lbs then the mom said and im guessing you know why me and daddy got a divorece right??? and the boy said right, because you got an F in sex.

Children's worst book titles! You Were an Accident Strangers Have the Best Candy The Little Sissy Who Snitched Some Kittens Can Fly! Getting More Chocolate on Your Face Where Would You Like to Be Buried? Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Animals of North America-Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes! All Dogs Go to Hell The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say God Did It Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog? Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? Bi-Curious George Daddy Drinks Because You Cry You Are Different and That's Bad Dad's New Wife Gerald Pop! Goes The Hamster-And Other Great Microwave Games Testing Homemade Parachutes With Your Household Pets The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad Babar Meets the Taxidermist Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables Start a Real-Estate more...

One day, a little boy went to his father 'daddy, is God male or female?' and his father answered 'Well son, God is both male and female.'Then the boy asked 'Daddy, is God black or white?' and his father answered 'well son, God is both black and white.'Then the boy asked 'Daddy, is God gay or straight?' and his father said 'well son, God is both gay and straight.'The boy was quiet for a while and seemed to be thinking. Finally he broke the silence by saying 'Daddy, is God Michael Jackson?'

Young lady to father "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor " "Dentist" "Why father? " "We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!"

The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned, her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and then daddy got on top of her..."

Sonny's mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me." The father came home. As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I'm leaving you. I'm packing now and. "

"But why--" asked the startled father.

"Go ahead, Sonny. Tell daddy just what you told me."

"Well," Sonny said, "I was playing in your bedroom closet and daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and daddy got on top of her and then they did just more...

Yo Mama is so ugly that yo daddy first met her at the pound!

This couple were going on there first date.The guy had gone to pick his date up for dancing her father goes."
You two going dancing"
The boy replyed yes and her dad says"
She loves to screw she'd screw all night if she could"
.A few hours later she comes and yells at her dad"
Daddy!!! It's called the twist.