Daddy Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little girl and her mother were out and about.
Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"
The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."
The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"
Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."
The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."
The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.
The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at more...
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said,' 'Daddy, what is sex?''
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the' birds and the bees.''
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
Her father said,' 'Why did you ask that question, honey?''
She replied,' 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a few sex.''
Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says..."Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got! "
The Ebonic Lord's Prayer
Big Daddy's Rap - The Lord's Prayer
Yo, Bid Daddy upstairs, - Our Father, who art in heaven
You be chillin - Hallowed be thy name
So be yo hood - Thy Kingdom come
You be sayin' it, I be doin' it - Thy will be done
In this here hood and yo's - On earth as it is in heaven
Gimme some eats - Give us this day our daily bread
And cut me some slack, Blood - And forgive us our trespasses
Sos I be doin' it to dem dat diss me - As we forgive those who trespass against us
don't be pushing me into no jive - And lead us not into temptation
and keep dem Crips away - But deliver us from evil
'Cause you always be da Man
CHILDREN'S BOOKS YOU'LL NEVER SEE
1. "Strangers Have the Best Candy"
2. "You Were an Accident" 3. "The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
4. "Some Kittens Can Fly!"
5. "Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
6. "Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
7. "Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
8. "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
9. "All Dogs Go to Hell"
10."The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
11."When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
12. "Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
13. "What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
14. "Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
15. "Bi-Curious George"
16. "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
17. "Mister Policeman Eats His more...
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach, and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with breasts a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Minutes later, he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with penises a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more they talked, the dumber he got!"
Children's worst book titles!
You Were an Accident Strangers Have the Best Candy The Little Sissy Who Snitched Some Kittens Can Fly! Getting More Chocolate on Your Face Where Would You Like to Be Buried? Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Animals of North America-Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes! All Dogs Go to Hell The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say God Did It Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog? Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? Bi-Curious George Daddy Drinks Because You Cry You Are Different and That's Bad Dad's New Wife Gerald Pop! Goes The Hamster-And Other Great Microwave Games Testing Homemade Parachutes With Your Household Pets The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad Babar Meets the Taxidermist Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables Start a more...