Czech Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal
    Assistance.
    Czech: Hey, out there in the street, a Swiss soldier knocked
    me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: Come again?
    Czech: Are you deaf? Out there in the street, a Swiss soldier
    knocked me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: You're confused. It was a Russian soldier who
    knocked you down and took your Swiss watch.
    Czech: Well, maybe, but you said it, not me.
    Henry Cate III

    Knock KnockWhos there! Czech! Czech who? Czech before you open the door!

    A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study these wondrous beasts.
    Finally, their request was granted and they immediately flew to NY and then on West to Yellowstone. They reported to the localranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and
    it was much too dangerous to go out and study the animals.
    They pleaded that this was their only chance. Finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given cell phones and told to report in each and every day.
    For several days they called in, but then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the scientists' camp completely ravaged. No sign of the missing men.

    They then followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill more...

    A lawyer, who was quite wealthy, had a summer cabin to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him, and the friend, eager to get something free from a lawyer, agreed.
    Early one morning the lawyer and his Czech friend went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
    The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his rifle and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still more...

    A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a
    backwoods section of Maine.
    On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country - rising early and living in the great outdoors.
    Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge Bears - a male and a female. Well, the lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear
    reached him and swallowed him whole. more...

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