Patch Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Here are a couple of my favorite examples of gullible people (true stories).
    Back in the days of the Mattel Cabbage Patch Kid craze it was usually
    very hard to get one for the kiddies. A radio station (I don't know where)
    announced that Mattel was going to get Cabbage Patch Kids out to the people
    of this particular city. The plan was that they had to go to the football
    field of the local university and wait. An airplane would fly overhead and
    the dolls would be dropped onto the field. People were supposed to hold
    their credit cards up so that a photographer with a telephoto lens in the
    airplane could get the credit card numbers and charge the price of the
    dolls to the recipients' accounts.
    People actually showed up, waving American Express cards in the breeze.
    Another radio station prank took place on April Fool's Day. They
    announced that the phone company would be cleaning the dirt out of the
    phone lines that afternoon. They do more...

    A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate."You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

    The patch thing is going way to far....smoking patches, lose weight patches,
    now this....
    Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of
    bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
    poll-ice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
    Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin'
    these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the
    bottles under the seat".
    "What fer?", asked Bubba.
    "Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
    Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and
    each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the
    sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
    "No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch".

    Once there was a boy who went to work for a captain. The Captain had a wooden leg, a hook on his hand, and a patch on his eye. Just like any old pirate. So the kid asks "How did you get your wooden leg"? The Captain replied" I got thrown over board and a SHARK ATE IT"! Then he asks " how did you get your hook"? The Captain replied"A hungry PAROTE ATE IT"! Then he asks" How did you get your patch"? The Captain replied"A bird poopped on my eye"Then he asks " How would that take your eye out"? The Captain replied"It was the FIRST DAY WITH ME HOOK"!

    A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summerhouse in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine.

    On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebee off a lawyer, agreed.

    Well, they had a splendid time in the country - rising early and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast.

    As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge Bears - a male and a female. Well, the lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and more...

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