Cuddle Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1. Stand perfectly still at the front window until someone on the street notices you. Quickly pull the blinds down, then, seconds later, peer around the blinds at them. Proceed until they a) Go away, or b) Call the police.
    2. Play the same CD on every stereo in the house at once. Try to synchronize them.
    3. SCARE YOUR PETS!!! Then cuddle them. THEN SCARE THEM AGAIN!!! Then cuddle them. Ahh, a nice, quiet cuddle-SCARE!!! No baby, it's okay... SCARE!!! If they run away, they'll be back, for food; make sure you're ready for action when they return.
    4. Sit on the front porch with a bottle of scotch. Yell abuse at pedestrians. Say nonsense. Wave your arms. Yell. For bonus points, colour a tooth black beforehand.
    5. Hide in the bushes near your mailbox and wait for the mailman to arrive. When he reaches for the mailbox, scream as loud as you can. If he tries again, scream again.
    6. Report a robbery to the police. When they arrive and ask what was stolen, reply "Only more...

    Most Romantic/Passionate/Sweet Things
    To Do For Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend
    (101 steps to having a good relationship)
    Watch the sunset together.
    Take showers together.
    Back rubs/massages.
    Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or w/ blacklight.
    French Kiss.
    Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
    Whisper to each other.
    Cook for each other.
    Skinny dip.
    Make out in the rain.
    Dress each other.
    Undress each other.
    Kiss every part of their body.
    Hold hands.
    Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other: not sex)
    One word: Foreplay
    Sit and talk in just underwear.
    Buy gifts for each other.
    Roses.
    Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
    Wear his clothes.
    Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.
    Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex.
    Kiss at every chance you get.
    Don't wear underwear more...

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