Cow Jokes / Recent Jokes
Never thrust your sickle into another man’s corn.
Don’t spread your blanket where a cat’s been digging.
Don’t skinny-dip with snapping turtles.
Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.
Never drive through a small Southern town at 100 mph with the local sheriff’s drunken 16-year old daughter on your lap.
Never use the words “large” or “size” with “rear end” when referring or speaking to a woman.
Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much.
Never, I say NEVER, pee onto an electric fence.
Don’t wear polyester to a weenie roast.
Cow chips need to dry out for a spell before you toss them.
Don’t go hunting with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Never stand between the dog and the hydrant.
Don’t stand behind a coughing cow.
Never say anything on the telephone more...
What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
Once upon a time, there lived two brothers - elder one named "Da Niu" (Big Cow), younger one called "Xiao Niu" (Little Cow). They were both English educated. Da Niu could not understand Chinese at all while Xiao Niu managed to write some simple sentences. There lived one lady - a very very pretty and sexy Chinese lady opposite their flat. Both brothers were hungry to "eat" this lady, but they kept their desire to themselves. Finally, Da Niu disclosed to Xiao Niu his lustful desire for this lady and requested Xiao Niu to write this lady a loveletter on behalf of himself. Definitely, Xiao Niu was upset and tried to sabotage his brother. So Xiao Niu wrote a note and flew it over to the lady: "Da Niu Bi Jiao Lan" (Da Niu is lazier). To Xiao Niu surprise, this did not make the lady disappointed about Da Niu but instead she so delighted when she saw this note and immediately hooked herself to Da Niu. Guess why? The lady has read sentences from right more...
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened." Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied his friend." Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. I called out to the chick and said,' Lady, does this look like yours?' And the bitch hit me in the neck with her driver!"