Cow Jokes / Recent Jokes
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting hammered. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"
The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket' bout full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad."
"Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked.
The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."
"And then?" "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket' bout more...
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones!
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
The dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler were recovered off the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their ship.
Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss.
They claimed that a cow, falling out of the clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.
They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield.
They forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home.
Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30, 000 feet.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!