Countryside Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself,' Ah, young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!' and continued to watch, remembering good times. Suddenly he drew in a gasp and said,' Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman - she is dead!' and he hurried along as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief.

He came, out of breath, to the police station and shouted,' Jean... Jean zere is zis man, zis woman... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love.' The police chief smiled and said;' Come, come, Henri you are not so old; remember ze young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers? Ah, L'amour! Zis is ok.'

'Mais non! You do not understand; ze woman, she is dead!'

Hearing this, Jean leapt up from his seat, rushed out of the station, jumped on his bike, more...

English tourists driving through New Zealand countryside when they spot 4 maori falla's struggling with a huge pole against the woolshed.
Curious they stop, watch and take photo's. Finally one of the tourist's curiosity gets the better of him, so he walks over to them and asks what are they trying to do.
Maori falla " wadaya mean! what are we doing?"
Pommy falla " I mean sir! why are you trying to lean that pole against this barn?"
Maori falla " So we can measure it eh!?"
Pommy falla somewhat bemused "Err!! pardon me for saying sir! but why couldnt you measure it the pole that is, while it was laying on the ground?"
Maori falla just as bemused at the question. "man you poms think you know everything eh!!! its because we want to measure the height not the length! Ok!?"